I reminded them that I didn't puke and I cleaned yours up! So huh!
Dude. Muppets take manhattan on netflix instant. Pass my midterm or relive my childhood? Tough decision.
DO NOT FUCK HIM ON MY BEAN BAG CHAIR
She said that I needed to "pregame her so it can slip right in."
It took all the strength I had tto sit at my desk and not tear off my business attire and run screaming from adulthood and flourescent lights.
Did you seduce any young men into coming home to your love nest of poutine and jäger bombs?
But think about it. I could put her gold medal around my penis
Actually, I take that back. You can only have it if I'm allowed to French braid the mullet.
Fucking in bar bathrooms doesn't count as "rushing things"
Can you help me get ready before work? I need a look that says I'm-happy-to-help-but-I'm-hungover-so-leave-your-attitude-at-the-door-because-I'm-not-taking-anyone's-shit-today.
I just screamed IM THE CHUPACABRA and jumped on his dick. I need to evaluate my life choices.
Is kiddo a correct name to call someone who you stuck your dick in?
Hey do you or anyone you know want to get drunk for free? At 4pm tonight at rctc for field sobriety training for future cops
I'm eating Arby's in the bathtub because I'm an adult and I do what I want
Just cuz u chase vodka with sweet tea doesn't make it sweet tea vodka
Randomize
