member when we used to take shits together before volleyball games?
2 am we went back to his house. his mom handed us beers and cooked us pancakes. the next morning his dad had washed my car. i lied. living at home after college definitely does not suck.
One person in the car. Three blizzards. Alot of judging.
So I've been to the library twice so far. Both times were for the atm, and once I was stoned. Junior year is going great.
He has until sunday, then my legs are officially closed to him
I believe I won the Golden Vodka Bottle of sadness last night for crying while being party boyed.
Ecstasy body chair massage shower sex fest this week?
Hon, I found you crying into a bathrobe in the back of a closet with a broken shoerack.
Then, right before he came he said "I want to buy you so many things!" What the fuck?!
I hate you so much right now. You got us kicked out of my favorite bar because your drunk ass was hogging the Bluetooth jukebox and would play NOTHING but that goddamn skeleton song. IT'S NOT EVEN OCTOBER YET.
Spopky scrzy skeletonssz
I woke up in my tom cruise outfit with my house key tied to my thong....
Best line overheard at the bar: "This is the last time I'm shaving my ass for him...I mean we just broke up".
i peed in the parking lot at work not even thinking, a woman saw
Why are my jeans soaking wet and smell like chlorine??
Bc u told a stranger in the hotel "I have sinned' and made him get into the hotel fountain and "baptize u". I've got a vid
You don't make any sense
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