thanks for stopping by when you did. making a meatball quesadilla while high was a bad choice
no they seem fine, they're doing push ups and waiting for a charging toy helicopter
Why does every bad decision I make wind up having 1000 likes on YouTube?
It is becoming increasingly more likely that my entire halloween costume will be entirely composed of borrowed clothing from the two girls I'm hooking up
A giant panda just asked me for a cigarette and said "man pandas gotta smoke too." There is something wrong with this place.
When you turn your data bak on you're gonna get a pic of a nipple but it's not mine
Your topless pictures make me question reality
Fucking that physical therapist guy was the best decision I ever made.
I found a blow up pig at an adult store. He will have to fuck that on video if he wants anal. Also, I bought a pair of clear high heels. Tell your brother I love him.
TSA literally pulled two bottles of whiskey out of my bag. Once he saw the leopard print socks and the mickey mouse tank, he put it back in my bag and said "Have a fun trip, man."
my birth father cheated on his wife with my birth mother. it's literally in my blood to be a home wrecker.
I woke up naked and you weren't here. What a relief.
I lost my wallet so I paid for my cab ride home with a sausage sandwich I found in my purse. Must have thought it was my wallet.
I am real keen for none of this to be taken out of context so let’s just shut it down right now
We need to stop calling him that. I definitely said “Fuck me harder Swizzle Dick“ while we were doing it and it got weird
He should appreciate that I recommend that corkscrew cock of his! I’m getting him laid
Randomize
