yo my bday is less then one week away. hope youve found another annoying candian i can lick dairy products off of. also sorry about your loss
Either your mom needs to stop making spagetti or we need to lay off the anal. I cant tell you how much im in pain.
Spagetti cuz im not giving up the other one.
this girl im hooking up with thought my ring was a purity ring... apparently im taking it too slow
well since you're still married, you will be paying for my abortion right?
Don't freak out about the couches in the driveway. We tried to unpack the uhaul drunk.
tonight were gonna drink champagne and watch girls put themselves in awkward position
I opened my eyes this morning, looked at the sunlight and made this hangover my bitch.
Rule #61 of being a lady: never get fingered by a finger with a knuckle tattoo
I have a bottle of vodka wrapped in a leg warmer in my purse. This is what it takes to get through Christmas with my family.
My roommate just threatened to kill me with my own pan. Can I ever get away from the crazies?!
Pretty good. Thinking about getting day drunk and filling out job applications so I don't hate myself as much
All I did was call him a fucker when he took my pot. He didn't have to arrest me.
It makes me so happy that my local liquor store has a black lab that is there every day. Really tho - it makes the higher prices excusable.
i like that he makes me laugh. those are like my two favorite things. laughing and fucking.
He started me on Celexa. I think I feel like Bjork. Is that normal?
Like... my feet feel like little octopuses, and they want to swim to the next room.
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