I was speaking french the whole night. Until i got arrested. Then I decided I should probably start speaking English.
We got them high and they had an hour long debate on the best way to get cum out of eyes.
you better fuck at least one or both of them.
I'm at work, still drunk. Can you turn on the radio? If the station goes off the air I passed out. Can't get fired. Haven't slept yet.
homeboy just tried to sext with me at 8:30 in the morning while I was on a job interview...
so you did it...
obv...but still...it was inconsiderate.
he proposed by singing a showtune... he might as well have had a cock in his mouth at the time
Appropriately today was the first time I've ever GTL'd. I can't believe I made fun of this,it's rather relaxing.
well I already know I'm going to hell, at this point it's really go big or go home
Your "dubstep at ceilis" resulted in a random naked guy busting into my room and peeing all over my bathroom
I should be done at 8 and I've also done a great Job of convincing my self that I should get really drunk tonight
I'm alittle affraid you might be dead, seeing how your work party is in an hour and you haven't answered me? I mean I'm picturing you 1. Passed out in your car covered in fries or 2. On a boat in a box to Mexico covered in coke. Please let it be number 1. And aren't we going to your work party?
Walking down the street, Bro bumping to 'still' by dre. Dropped his trash on the ground and aggressively sped up when his light turned green. If you still had love for the streets you wouldn't of fucking littered. Took everything for me not to yell at him. I know you would've.
He wore socks while I was giving him head. I couldn't even focus on his penis because of the socks.
She knew the head wasn't all that so she gave me her taco. I'm will in to give her a second chance.
Fell asleep on kitchen floor again, chicken nuggets everywhere.
Come over I need help. I just almost died in an acid flashback while listening to do You Feel Like We Do off of the Frampton Comes Alive album.
Randomize
