idk hes just been lookin at me weird all night
he probably just wants to cut your skin off and wear you like a body suit
Walk of shame was bad enough, but farting with each step as I walked past his roommates was just not cosmically fair.
craigslist faux pas number 857, just got head in a disability bus.
she added me on facebook and her celebrity doppelganger is rosie odonnel. FUCK
Handcuffs are allowed in carry on luggage :) just checked
Yeah, he's passed out in my bathroom pantsless. Is it a faux pas to look at his penis?
When I was drunk texting him about three ways he seemed more interested in just seeing me. And that's when I knew something was wrong with him
Wearing the same clothes for three days in a row and eating an entire two pound bag of jelly beans really has a way of making a person rethink their life...
The fact that it was "anything but a cup" now explains the cowboy boots and fishbowl aftermath at the apartment.
Awkward is sitting in your parking spot and making eye contact with every one of your next door neighbors two hours before you have a threesome.
it's pizza time hurry your sexcapades
And one groomsman rode a suitcase cart like a skateboard until he crashed and took out a piece of sheet rock. Later he pulled out his nuts.
I think he's an actor
That's not a good enough reason to wear guy-liner
when u match a guy bc he's from Oregon & he's trying to flirt, shut up i just want to talk about trees
I'm at home, drunk, and I just called the guy I lost my virginity to and invited him to my wedding.. I've got to stop drinking by myself.
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