Moan for me like Helen Keller
you told him to eat candy out of your ear instead of your vagina because you had your period. never. drink. AGAIN.
we need to drink 2009 down the drain
You'll be the guy with the raft that sells burritos on the river. You'd be legendary.
I cannot believe we're comparing my vagina to Mary Poppins and a black hole.
i'm just sitting here going through her tagged pics, covering up different parts of her face to try and figure out exactly what it is that makes her so ugly.
girl I've been sleeping with this summer as per her request just gave me a carton of cigs to thank me for my "hospitality". this is good.
Anything that comes outta your cooch is bound to be breathtaking
That could use a little rephrasing
In case you wake up wondering why your eyes hurt... You were claiming to be Zeus and that mortal weapons couldn't harm you. Some chick took it as a challenge and pepper sprayed you. Sorry dude.
I no longer believe that the road to self esteem is through his penis.
In all honesty the person most likely to secretly slip me drugs would be ... Me
It was like 10 tiny penises being shoved in my vagina.
I forgot her safe word. It was a rough night.
He used the term 'cock-staggering' in an email. So needless to say things are going pretty well.
Just keep your throat open and beer will always find its way in.
Randomize
