Loo but I'm already drunk TINIGHT! CAPS ATTACK
We should never set our expectations higher than pizza bagels cause then our night is bound to get better
apparently he couldn't remember my name so he refereed to me as whats-her-boobs and everyone knew that it was me he was talking about
I sent him a pic of my tits.. All he said was, "oh your sun burn"
I would also like to inform you that I can no longer lay on my back because my tailbone is bruised from the nightstand. Good job.
He has to watch his girlfriends kitten. Even when she is in Vegas, her pussy keeps him from getting into mine.
I'm sorry the first time we hungout you had to witness me throw up in the ocean then army crawl to shore.
Dude, you bit through my nipple. Give it a week, damn.
We legit stopped the the game so that Jamie and I could throw up in the bushes, and then continue to play intramurals... this is what my life is coming to1
You're not drunk til you wake your roommates up screaming at your ceiling fan
I just came so hard I growled. Definitely found my gspot.
Just want to apologize again for asking to spot your form in the shower.
I'm turning into an adult here.
Adults touch each other's special zones.
I still can't believe a guy pooped in my backyard
Well, I was arguably the most sober adult in the house by 1 in the afternoon, so I'd say Superbowl Shitshow was a success.
Randomize
