I should never bitch about not getting laid. He's begging me to come over and I'm saying no because I'm watching a Golden Girls marathon.
This place doesnt have redbull or serve shots. Its like they are at war with fun.
The thing is you're all "holy crap this isn't nearly as bad as I thought pissing on my own face would be."
Should I be alarmed that you're a regular enough at a bar to show up in sweatpants?
The guys had to come into the bar bathroom and pep talk us all off the floor
They're pole dancing on a handicap sign post.
She ditched her BF in the library to come see me wasted at a house party and i still ended up banging that rugby chick instead.
He looks like he'd be great Lego character.
Wouldn't it be fantastic if the corporate world cared less about about our GPA and focused more on our mastery of social drunkenness?
Just smokin in the creek with some deer, they like the smoke, I know.
She licked my face when I was on the phone with a customer and I just laughed. Im not sure if thats good or bad
I'd say it's his fault for never running us through proper protocol for "catching your RA in the middle of him banging some girl"
He makes balloon animals that get you high? Hell yeah invite him over!
Just because you are home alone for the weekend doesn't mean you can act like a nudist.
I accept your opinion but respectfully disagree. Also, I'm sitting in your chair.
In what world does 'I'm awake' at 2:30 in the morning on a wednesday translate to 'let's fuck' in the span of one text? Where has the romance gone?
Randomize