At one point during the moaning he reminded me of Forrest Gump
Her parents came home early, i had to hug her mom with a condom on...
and unfortunately for you, hallmark doesnt make a "sorry i was getting a blowie in the backseat of your car while you were driving, projectiled my jizz onto your hand, and caused you to crash" card
I just want you to know IcyHot in the ear is weird. Don't ask.
We made a late night liquor run, made margaritas and bloody marys and then retreated to opposite sides of the house to drink them. Alone.
You guys make me sad
You misspelled jealous there
I would have to gauge my vagina to make it fit.
I was laying there trying to sleep and then he sat up, took out his dick, and put it on my shoulder. It wasn't even hard- it was just casually perched.
if i actually get asked out by my dealer what could happen?
i don't know, but it probably involves bathtubs full of weed
It's okay I missed my booty call by two whole minutes so I decided to delete him from my phone and then re-add him as "I am a douchelord"
Giving you good advice and being naked are not mutually exclusive.
Good luck. While you're suffocating on a dick, I'll be eating pizza rolls. Being a good girl.
Awww I'm so proud! Starting friendships before you hook up!
I had to join a gym to keep up with this 22 yr old
So I thought you might like to hear how I went to sams club to print some pictures and suddenly there was 20 pictures of your dick and my snatch on the screen
I stole a block of cheese from the party last night and put it in my purse but I got so drunk that I left my purse on the floor and my dog ate it.
Randomize
