I will come over but only if I don't have to take my sunglasses off for it
well there was some sort of sex marathon going on in my house last night..jess and i vs my parents...and im ashamed to say that we lost and my parents out-sexed us
was it more than 30 minutes?
ya
then you're in a relationship
He had a stripper pole in his bedroom. I didn't know whether to be impressed or creeped out.
Like... Chilling at home with a movie, hang out? Or have sexual intercourse in the backseat if his car, hang out?
Just walk-of-shame'd past fifteen little girls at summer camp. Take a good look girls, I am you in twelve years.
Dude they are all farmers and I'm pretty sure there's a prostitute here.
I dont think a "sorry ive slept with most of your teammates" text will do much
Good idea. You gotta take care of your vagina. She takes care of you. Pay it forward.
There are reggae songs being written about me...where have I gone wrong in life?
oh I'm washing fake blood out of my bra.
I NEED to hang out with you more
It's whatever. Titanic is about to be on and we have wine, which is basically crying juice. Leo, Kate, and I will be having a lovely, pants free evening.
I woke up the whole house screaming I need my shorts they found me in the kitchen with a bag of strawberries naked
I just want to get drunk and not have to worry about you leaving me at the bar.
Just found a handle of Tito's in my TV stand
Can't recall when I put that there, but let's goooo
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