Its ok relax. i can tell ur gonna start raggin. talk 2 u next week
Everytime she opens her mouth it's like a fucking terrorist attack on my life.
Your clothes are in washers 2,3 and 4. I arranged by darks, whites, then frat... I'm not even joking
then he pulled down his pants, and i just stared for about a minute..... i was so confused. i didnt know my cat could have a bigger penis than an 18 year old man.
Seriously. He was just sitting there naked in the dark with a boner pissed that I came home late.
Dude before you bang that chick preheat the oven to 425 I wanna make a pizza for afties
Btw...pregnancy boobs are amazing. I don't recommend pregnancy in general but the boobs are good.
i wasn't gonna shower then i remembered i slept in my own piss
Climbing out Mr. Friday night's bathroom window. He thinks I'm puking. Be on state st. with the getaway car and if you could bring me a shirt and some advil that'd be dandy.
So proud. See you in five. I've got coffee.
He would drink pee if it was in a beer can
I just watched some guy take a shot of jack Daniels, chase it with a shot of ciroc & then violently rip his pants off. You have to come here.
Every guy I've ever fucked is single right now
Pray for me
Omg I just looked in my purse from last night.. 10 bags of gummy bears.
What are you doing tomorrow?
Dude its my bday. Im drinking from sunup til face down. Rinse and repeat.
Our sex sesh was interrupted by a bunch of hobos fighting outside his apartment.
Randomize