So I'm eating my sandwich... and a penny fell out of it.
all i wanna do is slam about 38 beers eat a whole pizza and wake up naked in the taco bell parking lot
I just wnated to let you know that I laminated my history notes so i can study in the shower.
Just got a hand job during Charlie St.cloud I honestly never thought Id thank Zac Efron fir one of his movies but thank you
can we get together and have a vodka water gun fight? i need to get som intense excersise/alcohol
It's hard to be judgmental of others when you are wearing silver pleather.
im just laying in bed, eating, getting fat, enjoying eating and getting fat, thinking about how i will probably have to get a fat boyfriend.
I'm seriously considering refraining from drinking on school nights.
I like how you say that with 4 school days left of the school year..
i passed out twice in the shower, twice on the bathroom floor, once holding the toilet bowl and 8 times moving from the bathroom to my bed. Tequila sucks.
I want you to know that the guy who peed in your bed got fat.
Btw there's a hedgehog in my room. Don't get it high
He sent me a dick pic from work, but I could see all the pizzas in the background. Now I'm just hungry.
Can I get my morals surgically removed?
Please tell me why I’m standing naked in the kitchen drinking pickle juice out of the jar & there is a container of potatoe salad with no lid & a spoon in it on the floor 🤦♀️
So what we learned was that it doesn't matter how skinny the stripper is, if she sits on your knee with a torn acl for two hours it's going to swell up
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