btw ... thanks for not giving me up as the craigslist killer
i owe you one
thanks for snagging those panties for me
you know it is a bad morning when you forget to brush your teeth and eat old gas x in your car because its minty...
Just found out that wake n bake is not one of the 7 habits of highly effective people..
whats a positive sounding word for "exploit"?
You were too busy being proud of your penis shaped pancakes to notice...
All I remember is yelling RUN as fireworks started going off in the kitchen. Who said that was a bad idea?
I'm so proud of your ability to turn my Charlie horse last night into anal sex.
We made a water bong out of a wine bottle... Being an architect major finally payed off.
This conversation has now reached a level of awkward that even a passerby streaking hobo couldn't break.
Gregs sitting in the living room in his underwear hitting the bong watching a rob schneider movie. His lack of fuck giving is inspirational
You showed them your nipple for dollars for the jukebox. You were depressed because only one of your songs played. Oh then you twisted your ankle and blamed it on your mad stripper skills.
No shame in my game.
Remember last time I drank with my mom? I asked if I got my dick sucking abilities from her.
I would recommend NOT getting ass enhancement shots.
he was like tryna hang and chat and I was like dude there's an iguana in this room
Finally hooked up with Ryan. Now I know why they call him “Beast Mode”. So. Many. Orgasms.
Randomize