i don't like sucking hair
My dad just sent me a text telling me to "say hi to all the luscious bitches" at the gay bar. Guess this explains my childhood
so i just saw your dad embarking upon a biking journey in full reflective gear
...this stays between you and me
Don't really want to talk about it. You were right. She had a whole jar of toenail clippings on her nightstand that she chews on "when her fingernails are too short." Direct quote.
if by 'bottleservice' you mean 'bringing beers in my purse' then yes, we are.
he ate out my asshole, i really don't think he gets embarrassed easily.
im already regretting the extreme lack of break up sex that took place
I looked up while we were having sex to see him covering my pillow pet's eyes with his free hand. I think I'm in love
I'm sorry for the texts and anything that I said that may have caused confusion, pain or irritation. I shall not be drinking again. Furthermore I will not be keeping a phone on me should I fail to adhere to the prior statement.
You peed on someones bathroom floor while saying people are rude for not flushing
Part of me really wants this picture, but the other part of me knows if he is really this drunk, he could be sodomizing a lamp and not know it
They started shooting fireworks out of a dryer. It was my cue to leave.
Googling enemas while I get a pedicure ... My life in one senence
Threesomes are not as fun as you'd think. I left with a black eye and I'm not sure who's to blame.
My life. Always pantsless and occasionally topless.
Randomize
