No. You are not the Kate in this relationship. I will do what I want.
There's a girl in here wearing a kaballah bracelet and a miley Cyrus tshirt. consider her judged.
Walk of Shame time yet?
Dude she's 6"2, blonde and on the cheerleading team. I look like Seth Rogen's fatter, unfunny brother. What shame am I supposed to be feeling?
Shit. Come in my room. Bring a trashcan and an icepack
I took my vicodin with tequila. I can FEEL gravity...
my whole body is tingling just thinking about the orgasm hes going to give me
Gave a homeless guy 3 bucks earlier. Just saw him at the bar. He bought one beer and left. Happy to see my 3 dollars was well spent
My lips are sealed. Both pairs.
I just witnessed my first non cocain induced sunrise in five years.
Not my cup of tea
Every single item that was in my fridge is now in my hot tub. Please help
She roared AMY HORNEY and hulk hoganed her shirt off. Fuckin marriage time bro
Girl. There is the cutest old gay here. He's approximately 100 years old and kind as shit.
Just discovered i ordered the nhl center ice package back in september, the operator said there was a note next to the time I called, indicating I may have been intoxicated while calling (no clue why but it was noted)...meaning I was drunk...meaning ill never miss another sabres game...i love me and am beaming with self pride
I don't remember his name. I had whataburger on my mind and in my hands so I wasnt really listening
You burped in your shoe and whispered 'you're mine now'
Randomize
