Do you think Tom Brady went home tonight and changed his facebook status to "pink with lace"?
Apparently the library doesn't care about celebrating the day Jesus became a zombie.
At what point in my life was I not hugged enough to be on my fourth walk of shame in half as many weeks?
Also, never say you're cool with a threesome if they ask. That shit's a trap.
We defiantly won best dressed in the ER tonight
Definitely just realized I wore a shirt that says "building leaders for Christ" to a hookup. Roll tide.
Have you ever just woke up in the morning and felt pregnant
Hahaha idk what's worse your life or my hangover.
I just threw up vodka and hot dogs in a handicapped stall with someone in it who couldn't make me leave because he couldn't walk.
i found waldo and immediately set him to work eating me out. please have more out of season costume parties.
me + whiskey = a bad person
That tampon felt like a stick in my vagina, I am never making a drunken tampon choice again. Friends don't let friends choose tampons drunk.
I shit like a lady though so that rarely happens
Made out with some dude at the bar last night. Was fun until he thought bohemian rhapsody was by The Who
My mom found my empty case that I hid in my room and just said "now why don't you be a responsible underaged drinker and throw it in the recycling" and walked away. I'm in shock.
Randomize