I haven't seen him in over a year. He asked me to his prom over myspace. Is he fucking serious?
im gay
i know
yea but for you.
Those strippers last night smelled great. It was the perfect mixture of vanilla and daddy issues.
Ive never seen someone more dtf than a soaking wet drunk girl who stumbles into your backyard.
I tapped out to boredom. She bought me a full meal at Subway. Two tap beers and a pretty weak long island iced tea. I'm five dollars cheaper to fuck than she is.
You know what would make the espn body photos even better? If anyone knew who any of those fucking athletes were. That, and maybe not feature Gary Player.
And now to play every stoner's favorite game: Where the Fuck Did We Park the Car?! Disneyland Edition!
I was really hoping my 420 would involve a lot more weed and a lot less buttholes
My desire to pee is a lot higher than my need to be buzzed right now.
Ugh. He got her for secret santa. Idk what to get. Idk what she's into.
... other people's boyfriends.
I think I just read the whole internet. Front to back.
I just wanna know if were done hooking up so I know of that condom he left in my top drawer is fair game
Try to fuck my roomie AND steal my slippers: you are no longer my favorite cousin.
so I just realized.. of my 70k student loan debt, most of it went toward bar tabs, eightballs, and sweet-ass ties to wear to gamedays and other people's weddings. I think about shit like this while I'm at my mid-level management position. you know. "working."
Look upon your future, America, and despair.
I honestly think sometimes all you need is a $2 alcoholic punch poured from a jug into a big glass to feel better. I guess abblebees is my new problematic fav
Randomize
