So tell me more about the cum that came out of your nose
You were so drunk you tried to sell your salsa to everyone on the restaurant.
Only girl at that party wearing a fake beard and I STILL get laid...
the girl next to me just texted someone in her phone named Optimus Prime
...i wonder what he did to earn that nickname
Woke up naked in another mans house. If that keeps happening, then I probably need to go gay. You know to make it ok.
Dude, the cops never think it's as funny as you do.
i wont go near him until the smell goes away , and he takes the chex mix box off his head.
Glad we went casual last night, made my 1pm walk of shame through Walmart a little less obvious
I'm like the Mother Theresa of booty calls.
It's hard being an adult. And by that I mean it's hard to tell the boy you like who rejected you that you can't share a room with him at white party because you don't want to see him bang other boys.
Vaguely remember? You pushed George and two other fellas out the way to hug me, screamed gandalf before chugging your beer and smashing the bottle on the floor. I lolled.
alll i remember is comming back downstairs, his pants were off and he was aplauding me
I'm pretty sure your ex of four years just had a baby with some kid and named it after you...
Dude I bought tampons with cardboard applicators by accident and now I know my vagina hates the 1960s
She asked what the dent on the hood of my car was from..i think she knows we had sex up there
Randomize
