I don't think your that much of a whore. your like a whore-let. a mini whore.
He actually believes he's not an alcoholic if he doesn't go to meetings.
Maury Povich's contact info is in our database at work...i should steal it right?
I just found 17 dollars of saltine crackers in my room. confused incredibly. suprised not at all.
Fair warning: We've transformed the living room into a giant tent.
I can always tell I missed tequila night based on the hickeys on your neck man. Fucking call me.
Taking a semester off always leads to bad things like having a baby or getting married
Hate to say it and even though I definitely have a biased opinion but I'm surprised your not, sleeping with anyone else. Good personality, charisma and amazing in the sack.
Feel free to use me as a reference.
I fell asleep after the worst sex of my life and now I'm snowed in with him. SEND HELP. CALL FEMA. GET ME OUT OF HERE.
Definitely a Xanax and Jell-O shots kinda day...except my Jell-O shots are really just a big bowl of a Jell-O shot that I use a spoon to eat.
American Eric just peed on us from the second floor. Hes now very confused as to why his "toilet is yelling." Send help.
If I had a dick, I'd stick it in some Oreo pancakes
YOURE A FUCKING ADULT. DONT TELL ME ITS PAST YOUR BEDTIME WHEN I WANT TO GET ANOTHER COCKTAIL.
Definitely ended up doing Coke with Chewbacca in the porta potty behind the haunted house.
It was like I was gay for pay but except being gay I became straight and instead of for pay it was for coke.
Randomize
