Do you ever make guys send you dick pictures just cause it's hilarious?
On a list of weird places to get a bj, how weird is in the basement of a pharmacy
If for any reason you were wondering if i was going to vomit at the airport today, the answer is yes.
This is going to be another afternoon spent getting drunk in the shower, isn't it?
I ended up naked in a pond with you-know-who and your saying your a good babysitter? Dick.
Nobody is stopping the marines from drinking in class on veterans day. They literally brought a cooler with a bottle of whiskey and vodka on ice. And are passing out red cups to anyone interested. Staying in Vegas for college has officialy become an A+ decision
Ice cream: Good. Fraternity: Good. Eating ice cream off a Skid Row bum's ass crack in order to get into a Fraternity: Homoerotic at best. I quit.
I shame-fucked to Hotel California, don't tell me about priorities.
Well that was the first and last time I've had to write "divorce party" on a request time off form. I'm throwing it for my mom. What is my life turning into.
Hey guys so who is Justin McGoo and why did I text him "fuck yooooouuu juuuustiiin mcgooo" at 12:06am on Thursday night?
What's the best way to tell someone that I accidentally wound up in a gay harem?
DO NOT TRY TO APPROACH HER CAT. IT IS A DEMON CAT FROM SATAN'S BALLS AND IT *WILL* TRY TO KILL YOU. I SPEAK FROM EXPIRENCE.
While walking to class I was handed a red bull, condoms, and a mini bible. I love my school.
my mom just came into my room and handed me a news paper article about women on the verge of a drinking problem... i can already tell its not about to be sunday funday
Listen, i know this is weird for you, but as your fuck buddy, id prefer if you didnt fuck her.
Youre asking too much from me
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