it seems as if every mistake i've ever made in life i've had an errection in one hand and a bud light in the other
Braces and a neon one piece. She looks 15.
i'm in love
is it normal that we went to that class once and both got 100's on the final? ohhhh, arizona state.
I am solely responsible for the birth of their child. I mean, I did push them into the room and hold the door shut yelling "punch that kitty!". It has to be a sign.
Idk how hard you fucked her, but you managed to leave permanent ass prints on my tempurpedic mattress.
I think I slept in the cheesecake last night. Either that or I had a wet dream. Whatever happened I need to wash my pants.
I'm just going to say , cocktail races are not for a Wednesday night maybe not even a Friday type of deal
I'm doing laundry from this weekend.. That poor shirt I wore to the rave smells like a dead animal that rolled in weed and pain..
Just as I was applauding myself for the best wing man award, I realized we are going to have to burn our futon.
You know, part of me wants to die and the other part of me doesn't want to live
No amount of beer will make me feel better about this. It's time for Emergency Whisky
I just remembered you petting my nose last night to help the cocaine 'sink in'. I don't think that's how it works
I need ecstasy. And, before you ask, the answer is yes right now
I'm 2 seconds away from smashing the bottle and drinking it off the counter with a straw.
It may be a corded vibrator from the 90s but it gets the job DONE
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