At a sweet 16. cant remember what shirt im wearing byt dnt worry im not sleeping w/ the guy who serves the chicken nuggets again
I just remember telling jokes while vomitting
she might purposely get aids just to give it to you. I think she might hate you that much.
I can't wait to find out the true size of his penis! Please maintain enough sobriety for an accurate report.
She just invited me to drunkenly make out on the kitchen floor again.....
seriously though jaeger and i are fucking done professionally
Seriously. There are at least 10 other people drinking at the bar with me at 10:40. Im justifying it with the fact that I've been up since 5am.
do you find it slutty that the last person I had sex with is also the person who sings my ringtone ?
My financial advisor filed my girlfriend's abortion under "investments" so my wife wouldn't find out
Can't even walk I haven't tried talking but I probably can't do that either
He visits one Denver strip club and now hes moving there
But there's never enough margarita money.
This is going to be one of those situations where we lose a day, isn't it
Seriously, he's as bad as Joffrey. I hope this ends like Game Of Thrones did.
You just kept telling everyone to call you MFT.. Mother Fucking Tornado.
Ik youre sleeping but fyi its 5:32am I'm sitting in the middle of the road bra less and shoeless with boxers in my hand and no ride. Shits real crazy.
Randomize
