I admire the strength of friendship we have that allows for sharing husbands.
seriously i just wanna be friends
pass
There was no way out of it, seeing as I left my photo ID right next to the vomit.
he definitely had sex before you were fully potty trained.
Yes, i finally made it. but let me tell you...i can smell myself right now in class right now, this scent is called alcoholism.
Euphemism? No, "pantsless vodka yoga" is a legitimate pastime of mine
She is just sitting by the bathroom like a little puppy waiting for a knight in shining armor to take her in there to fuck her. New low?
Of course I have to cross through a walk for hunger
is it too much for me to say that i have a ziplock bag with ice in it in my underwear?
Your ability to whip out your dick and take a pic anytime I text you is startling.
purchased gas station taquitos and condoms at 4 this morning. It has been magical..
Handcuffs. Recoverd. I'm a goddamn detective.
Booty called 3 guys from my hospital bed
Well, I have no idea where my underwear is, so yea I would say it was a good weekend.
He made me ask permission to to cum and it made me cum.
Randomize
