Just once id like a girl to say to me in the dracula voice, i want...to suck...your dick...
Think about all of the events that have led to this: me sitting in the back of my classroom drinking beer out of a taco bell cup, telling the teacher I have to leave early to go to an AA meeting.
UD be completely fine. you don't lose control just keep a positive environment. for example i really want to lick the wall cause red is delicious but i don't have to.
his dick got so hard in his pants and it broke his zipper
Let's have a moment of silence for the guinea pig that drunk chick threw out our window.
I never thought that taking apart multiple age 5 and under puzzles would be part of my house party clean up process.
Yeah, sorry about that. I just couldn't stop.
We had to go to his parents last night for dinner & ended up having a quickie in the bathroom while everyone else was outside smoking.. This is why we have a successful marriage.
ahhhh just came to creep and you're not there AND your thong you were wearing last night is on the floor..someone has some explaining to do
You know what it feels like? It feels like I'm in that prison from the dark knight rises. That's what being a virgin in college feels like.
The airport has the best people watching and munches... It should be a destination drinking location
I may, or may not have licked his face in an Applebee's.
And one night I got way too drunk and thought he said call me a polish name so I called him Konrad. Now he thinks I cheated on him with a Konrad.
That's my new pick up line call me a polish name
Do you always skip to "Baby Got Back" when fat girls show up at the bar?
Hi darlin, what are you doing tonight?
.... Things I will not be proud of
I don’t know how you celebrated 4/20 but I set a Payless trash can on fire
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