i just made out with my boyfriends father...and so did jess
I turned down free cocaine. I both respect and regret and that decision.
nothing says "we're all in this together" like the herpes she passed around to our entire group of friends
You're asking the wrong person. I was drunk on nyquil and jager.
in my lab write-up should i mention that i watered my plant with tequila?
Also, I don't remember opening my gifts from my family. It was cool when I woke up with a new ihome.
there's a guy in the del taco parking lot doing pushups. let's be his friends
She seems less like a roommate, and more like a homeless person who snuck into your apartment.
Dad danced with a girl half his age and her boyfriend just sat at the bar and waited for dad to be done. I bought pity nachos.
Ok: all ex-gfs except you from the last 5 years have or are about to have a baby...be on the lookout...
You have not lived until you and a ginger miget chick are jumping and waving your arms in a pitch black bathroom to turn on the motion lights. Yes, today I have officially lived.
He kept saying I needed to go to the hospital and it just made me want to call him a pussy so I went to bed
How am i even supposed to meet his daughter? "Hi, Claire, I hear we have so much in common, like we both love your Dad and also we're almost the same age."
Ate 5 hotdogs today. You need to get me back on my tequila diet cause this shit has to stop!
send nudes
from the living room?
Randomize
