I can't believe believe she called me a slut. She doesn't know anything about me or my life.
Shit, that's something a lot of sluts say.
My 3rd grade teacher, who was also my fav, thought i was in prison. That seriously upsets me.
It felt like his penis had an endoskeleton.
I just bedazzled my weight watchers points calculator. You can tell I'm gay.
He kept insisting that I was going to have an orgasm but it just felt like he was rubbing sand paper on my vagina
Just got judged by the front desk clerk, 2 maids and a security guard at the Sheraton. I've decided to use this as a character building experience.
I have your shoes, your bike, and someones blue underwear. Round 2 tonight?
I just had someone I don't even know on Facebook message me saying it seems like I drink too much and should slow down.
Just for future reference, me asking if you're free, followed by a winking face is not my way of suggesting a tandem bike ride.
My gynecologist got a full view of the obviously bite marked shaped bruises on my thighs. I just kept talking about work and hoped she wouldn't judge me.
Now some guy that's in my phone as " Alex lip ring hot" is texting me and I don't where life is taking me
Made a pinky promise to a lesbian on crack in WeHo. No one knows what I promised
She looks like a hot George Washington...I'm going for it
Nothing to be ashamed of. I bet Oprah has sharted.
you never know when your going to find a surprise from me in your bed...it keeps you on your toes.
Randomize
