North Korea, Best Korea!
My penis looks like a roll of pennies
Oh. Ok. I get the hint.
Like a roll of pennies where the paper got wet & then dried all wrinkly and weird...
So... I just got back from the chiropractor... And he said I have a slight neck injury from head banging too much. Fuck yes.
We had sex in the woods. It was great until some bird started mimicking my orgasm sounds
at one point he was caressing me in the kitchen asking me my name over and over again and then asking what my favorite continent was
I give him a gold star every time I orgasm. His room looks like he's freaking King Midas.
How did I roll 7 times this month and survive?\nI must be some sort of ecstasy goddess
I'm a bit offended I got no nudies back but it's whatever
They're in the mail. Snapchats too fast. I want the suspense.
I thought it was improvement but then i realized sex isn't an emotion and I hate everyone
ATTENTION PENIS' OF BURLINGTON: I AM COMING FOR YOU
We figured you were on something when you said that your nipples couldn't hear the music.
Is kiddo a correct name to call someone who you stuck your dick in?
His name isnt in my phone as “Satan’s spawn” for no reason. #devildick
I'm about to do something based solely on the fact that a fortune cookie told me to. This may not end well.
I climbed to the top of a stripper pole and touched the ceiling. Accomplishment?
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