Oh My! A car just drove by me a splashed me with a wave of water. I am drenched and soaking wet!
I am sorry--all I heard is that you are wet.
God I can't wait to have my phone textbombed every night
Dude she looked like Jerry Garcia's knuckles
Is it wrong that im more embaressed about the karoke than the toplessness?
ask me if i forgot to go to a midterm today
id like to know how you successfully locked me in your backseat last night
I woke up wearing nothing but his lifeguard whistle..
Apparently I promised a worker at La Siesta free English lessons to make up for vomming all over the little Mariachi band.
Apparently I've been blackout drunk doing abstract algebra on the floor
Sorry I missed your call. Have a great morning.
That is a horrible way of saying good morning to someone. You basically reminded me that we did not hook up yesterday. It's bad enough I got to go to work all day with blue balls.
Sorry I couldn't reference you in my facebook quote. I will redirect any likes and comments straight to my blowjob efforts this week.
Oh my god. We just got locked out of our cabin and went to the neighbor's to see if they had a key and caught the neighbor jerking it. My night > your night
I couldn't really understand you because you were really quiet and I said "I don't know what you're saying, it's kind of a big mumble" and you said "that sums up my life"
I'm a little concerned about right now. You showed up at my house soaking wet, drunk with a bag of ham and 2 liter of Dr. Pepper, and you refused to tell me where you got the ham until I gave you some more liquor.
He showed up soaking wet with a flashlight and a ping pong ball. I couldn't say no
Well we've always known you have a weakness for guys with balls in their hands
Randomize
