I'm cheating on the girl I'm cheating on my girlfriend with
she'd have to be at LEAST a cup size bigger for me to even consider putting up with her voice
just remembered that i started a tab for just myself at 50 cent beer night last night... i dont understand my life
if you want blown tonight you're gonna have to take me up on that offer now. in less then 45 minutes you're gonna be blacked out and i'm not doing something i'm not getting credit for in the morning.
I am fine. Katie thinkr i broke things pole dancing. I am coherant.
I think I actually have rug burn on my eye.
No, I did not fuck him for football tickets. I fucked him for tickets to the superbowl. I'm not that much of a slut.
It's like you're the one guy who got the "girls have clits" memo.
I'm almost positive that you shat in a birdhouse
well you don't shave your pubes into a handlebar mustache and keep the party to yourself
I'll bring your "congrats on finally banging" cookies tomorrow, I'm exhausted.
I'm the girl holding the bag of goldfish
I wouldn't be able to live with myself if I blew a Trump supporter.
I love that they love me even though I might not exsist, its kinda like Im God.
You aaa... you ever forget to wipe your ass?
Randomize
