I loved tuna sandwiches so much in grade school it was so embarrassing
Everyday all the kids would be like oh grosss whose eating tuunnaa
Its ok relax. i can tell ur gonna start raggin. talk 2 u next week
dude smells like cheese burgers and loose women...... i want his life
At lowes after workin outside. Kid behind me says "mommy that man smells like a taco" yes she was talking about me.
Reindeer Drinking Games will soon commence. Get over here while we're still sober enough to answer the door.
I really need to learn how to handle sexual advances from older women
I wish I had your problem
Somewhere at this very moment, a group of drunk white girls are singing dont stop believing.
We're on a cock hunt. Everything is fair game.
How was the party last night?
There's a mountain bike in the middle of our apartment. No one will claim it.
Aside from the fact that im drinking wine straight from the bottle to save doing dishes, im also standing in front of the oven to save turning on the heater. its gonna be a rough winter.
Just peed on my foot. Thank you Sunday hangovers.
I was giving a campus tour, when a drunk senior came up behind me and shouted at the group, "If Jesus ain't your homeboy - get the fuck off this campus!" Looks like his religion course is paying off...
Dude, i don't know. I don't remember anything after we started chanting/playing "shot of gin."
Let the vodka take you where it will. Like Pocahontas, but wasted
You ran outside mistaken the snow for sand and started screaming "WHERES TH BEACH"
Randomize
