Bea Arthur died! :(
What?
Big bird passed.
why is it impossible to run with a back pack without looking like a giant d-bag?
haha... you gave me a great visual of you in high white socks running with a backpack with eye of the tiger playing in the background
that only happened once.
The weather is perfect in Seattle right now. Warm enough for girls to not wear bras, but cold enough for me to see them nipping out in the shade.
She is my favorite of all the girls you have fucked. Other than me.
at FSU your more likely to get an STD than a parking spot
Gentleman, we have a new medal category - number of women per day in apartment WITHOUT FURNITURE
OMG HIS EYES ARE POOLS OF SEX. HOT SEX.
My mom got me high and then dropped me off at a church.
I've abandoned trying to find a logical explanation of your life.
Youre the drunk baby that everyone wants to take care of.
Really, who hasn't had sex on your bed?
ME.
I just found those cheese sticks in my purse. Along with a handful of confetti.
I'm sitting here with a band aid on my labia, this is a first
But I only have 2 emotions angry and horny
However many condoms you have, it isn't enough.
I guess you could say the date didn’t go so well since I was drunkenly Snapchatting with my ex by the end of it.
Randomize
