Luol and I just scored with two 40 year old married chicks. They dropped us off on the way to soccer prctic. The kids in the back were confused. Call me.
His idea of a romantic evening was shotgunning Keystones. What a keeper.
You were chewing up hot dogs and spitting them out
I have so much shit FLYING through my head. They're all in magic carpets and everything
I actually kinda like her but everyone else hates her, so consider it a third party grudgefuck.
You have to figure out where to put this turtle dude
i got a standing ovation for bringing skittles to the party
We got back from Mcdonalds and literally 5 minutes of being in your room, you wanted to go back because "We haven't been yet."
Your lack of dedication to alcohol is forcing me to drink with my ex husband. U suck
Well who could blame her. I would run away from me if I could.
Don't know why you're always hating on relationships. I've had chocolate pancakes accompanied by a blowjob and a blunt and it's not even 9 am. Time for mid morning shower sex. Enjoy your morning bong bowl alone asshole
Says the girl who left her friends to go have phone sex in the bathroom at Michael's
I need water and some morals
I'm shrooming way too hard to deal with your bullshit at this particular point in time
Last night I actually told him I came with a washer and dryer
Randomize
