Told my mom a bit ago she'd meet you tonight
Um...??
She's excited
well that one time I was being a total idiot trying to see how much I could drink. turns out 22 shots is too much. surprise surprise! ambulance party!
grad school is all the worst parts of undergrad, without the binge drinking and bad decisions to make up for it
I'm having one of those days where I just want to lay in bed and beat off all day
She stared for a good 10 seconds before calling my dick "awe-inspiring", and then proceded to give me blueballs. All in all the ego boost made my night break even
if youre pregnant and ruin my spring break i'll never forgive you.
Next year we will be 30 and no more shots during the week.
He is now tagging himself in my pics from last year where he is barely visable in the corner. i feel like he's marking his territory.
You should make cookies and when I get home we can have a slow motion hug and eat them
Could we try to replay the decision making process whereby only you and I bought and drank a keg this weekend? Because there were some fundamental flaws!
We were having a serious discussion about Blue's Clues and I just kept thinking, 'you've seen me naked'.
Do you think you can chase a shot with chicken soup?
Van sex tonight? No need to tell me how classy that sounded.
Nice. Make him jerk off and tape it. Send it to his woman. I also love that you had another skype date
Just looked at the TV in the bar for the weather report. Didn't want to walk home drunk during a tornado warning
Randomize
