Hey when you come over to pick me up in the mornin bring a camera. This is going to be legendary. Don't knock.... They might cover up
She just sent me a picture of a heart. I need to stop fucking freshman...
I'm like a wolly mammoth down there. what do I tell him?
Take this only to mean that we love you, but we're having a serious, half-hour, hypothetical discussion about how far we think we could throw you.
Looks like a significant portion of my drinking money just became legal fees.
From the guy that lifted you into a fan I'm sorry
Is it some european holiday today? We both woke up to find loaves of bread in our rooms...
He is crying over the toilet and his friends just came in and tried to make him take another jello shot.
Biggg time. I found 2 empty packages of extenze in my car this am.... not sure what that was all about
i think the sex is so good because i get a contact high just from fucking him
I was doing karaoke to "baby got back" and apologizing for being white at the same time.
He wouldn't stop calling me so I sent him a text saying "I'm dead. Dead. Leave me alone." And he replied with "so can I see you then?"
I figured if he was OK cheating on his gf with a guy, he'd be OK with me posting his number to m4m Craigslist Ads
So I forgot to ask, how was that bartender you slept with two weeks ago?
Google chlamydia.
I need mimosas to revive my soul
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