Let's make love on the newspapers that declare financial doomsday
apparently the officer said last night, "son, why don't you do yourself a favor and spread your legs so you don't keep vomiting on them". why can't I remember those nights?!
so i had a hang over on saturday and i stayed in the shower for 4 hours, then crawled out, skimpered to my bed, and some kid i didnt know was sleeping in it
Yes someone did see you carrying a beer bong on the side of coastal highway
And a psychic told me I was pregnant and I am just so over life right now.
Remember that foreign guy who never talked last night? He just came out of my bathroom when I woke up.
Just talked to Kate. She said I called her on Friday night. She said I was crying for 5 minutes because we were parked in front of a fire hydrant.
I just want to curl up with him and brush his hair and sing love songs together, I think you should come over and end this
Just made a jeopardy bj game. Every question has 10-50 seconds on it and if he's right that's how many he gets.
Remember when I asked you to make sure I didn't go home with anything less than a 6 last night? You're fired
shotgunning beer in rite aid bathroom. hurry
You know how I know last night was a good night? Because I remember high fiving a couple WHILE they were having sex.
I have mystery bruises on my right knee, right arm, under my chin, and on my forehead. What the fuck happened last night??
We free pour in this house. Measuring alcohol is for the weak
The covid immunization shot lady also sold me a mondo bag of really good pot.
Randomize