The police are arresting two women who got in a fight for the last Twilight DVD at Best Buy. Classic.
she pinky promised me she was 18
You tried to convince me you were sober by doing jumping jacks. For an hour.
I will be going to walgreens soon.. nothing says trainwreck like pickin up a scrip for xanax at 2am drunk..
You just kept walking around in a circle saying "well played 6th street well played" before falling over.
I just woke up in my locked bathroom. It's 5 PM. What happened?
i dont get why youre mad at me. i promised you he looked like jim morrison and you failed to ask me like which era
in that moment our bushes were one. and in that moment we were pure.
No,she came up with a new game: "Where is the most interesting place I can show Drew my asshole?"
i just teared up watching channing tatum in drag emerge from the fog on lip sync battle. it's gotta be PMS. either that or something is realllllly wrong with me.
I spend so much of my life shaving my body hair off and I want nothing more than his beard in all my hairless places.
SHE MASTURBATED TO THE THOUGHT OF ME HAVING AN ALL DUDE THREESOME WITH HER EX BOYFRIENDS.
I just had a visual of u banging and screaming at him at the same time.
Reading becomes significantly more difficult when people are having crazy loud sex in an adjoining room
I swear it’s like he’s filling my soul via my vagina
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