Richard, I just read on your Twitter account that you have enjoyed a, "Much needed post birthday smoothie..."...A bit revealing, no?
Erin Andrews shaves. She also likes to check out her ass in the mirror. Of course if I had an ass like that I'd be checking it out in the mirror too.
You don't think I'm weird or immature right?
No I think it's cute we had sex on your Bob the Builder sheets
I passed out in the VIP room and she charged me for 17 songs until I woke up, theres a bouncer asking me for $700, fuck tequila
She fell asleep on the sidewalk and people starting using her as a hurdle
He set an alarm on my phone to an infant screaming and puking to make sure i take my pill. its working.
don't mind me. just hanging out in this cool air conditioned Babies R Us until the liquor store next door opens.
yeah the cable guy is coming and everybody is hiding all the pieces in the house. we are up to thirty two. like a fun game of smokable scavener hunt.
JEREMY RENNER GOT DIVORCED. I STILL HAVE A CHANCE.
I'm drunk filing my taxes in a bar on a Monday afternoon in a Regular Show onesie. I think I'm starting to get the hang of this whole adult thing.
I got to walk around for eight hours wearing power armor and acting camp. No way I wouldn't love it.
I learned a valuable lesson about combining day drinking with malt liquor: you may think you have super powers, but that's just the Steel Reserve talking.
"They let me see the x-ray. My nose is broken. I saw it. It was cool. Well, I guess it would be cooler if it wasn't my nose."
He puked all over the side of the car and the head rest behind him...and then all he said was "America."
I just washed down my antidepressant with some pineapple wine. I'm the picture of mental health this holiday season
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