I dont remember anything after Tequila & Apple Juice. May have disovered the recipe for mental bleach.
but she was nice to me.
She was a fuckin STRIPPER.
Eliza got arrested. What's the protocol on eating an arrested person's sandwich?
like he couldn't stop by and throw me in the back seat and ask for a blowjob? he had to give me flowers?
I bet. I bought a surfboard and a kite and filled my camelback with vodka-tonics. Let's do this
I repeat the shot was ON FIRE. I am never going to a pirate bar again.
I've been told that their best stripper is on maternity leave. NEVER AGAIN.
My masturbation fantasy just had a wedding theme. I need new hobbies.
But once you explained how to fill cupcakes with semen I realize you were harmless and right on my level.
you just missed a great speech in which i almost coined the term "ass-ian" as in "my vaginal and ass-ian regions are no longer safe"
God please dont post that to facebook.
Of course I'll be there. I never miss an opportunity to smell like cigarettes, cheap beer, and shame.
i need to un-sleep with a few of those brothers before we ever go back to that house again. i'm serious. i will not be a fraternity groupie.
There's so much mac and cheese stuck to my foot right now
I'm just waking up. I awoke in a towel (I must have showered at some point),i also found a half eaten McChicken in my bed and vomit in the toilet. Seems like I'm winning at life
I'm always down for nudity.
Randomize
