Old men and throwing up are my life now.
Don't judge me. Haven't eaten all day so I'm in my room sticking my finger in peanut butter, then jam, then my mouth.
she must've caught on when i went out for a "run" in jeans and a sweatshirt and came back holding a McDonalds bag and smelling like pot.
You were dancing on the bar and fell off into the arms of the hot bartender. It was like a fairy tale, with more alcohol.
I got really high with eric & scott.. they're discussing why words sound the way they do.. it's going to get messy
You just kept shouting "I AM AN ADULT!" until he agreed to carry you home on his shoulders.
I love our strategizing... I wish we used the same passion for planning our lives and future that we use for planning our drunken escapades... We would both be doctors by now, I swear
100% truth: never tied someone to a bed using 4 pairs of sweatpants before
For the record we tried to find 4th of july porn. Did not turn out well.
I made out with a dude last night who has an ex wife. Is this what post grad life is about?
That's why you need to have them together. Katie started crying on the couch and she just gave her a tube of crackers and picked up a beer at the same time. She's like a goddess of making things chill
Last night was a "wash hands with dog shampoo" kind of night
Had a dream I dropped the L word and immediately threatened to kill myself
You probably shouldn't be having nightmares about expressing affection
Sorry if that was awkward, i will never call you sober ever again
Drinking at 10 in the morning and swimming might not be the best idea I've ever had but it beats working
Randomize
