I'm just sayin. Is it sad that I spent my last dollar on a hamburger just to get a paper bag to huff out of?
see if i had a dick i'd definitely smack people in the face with it
I can't leave. She doesn't trust me and my penis being out in the world without supervision.
You did that scary laugh you always do when you're blacking out except she's never heard it before and though you were choking and screamed at all of us when we didn't call an ambulance
you puked in the bathtub and said "let them pee"
One day her vagina is just going to shrivel up and seal itself with it's self preservation mechanism
And I just realized we will be at a strip club when the end of the world is supposed to happen. This is destiny
Operation terrify all men while simultaneously make them fall in love with me is going quite swimmingly so far
I need a life alert for his random dick pics. My heart can't handle that.
I should not be allowed to reproduce. The world doesn't need my sarcastic asshole demon spawn in child form
What happened to no more shots?
It went out the window just like my dreams
All my friends are getting into relationships and going through breakups and I'm having Plan Bs and crunch wraps for dinner.
You know that gay bartender? Not as gay as we thought.....
Maybe? I'm not shaving my pubes for a maybe type of night.
His PENIS is so fucking big that I always use caps, out of respect.
Randomize
