i miss you and i wish you were peeing between my legs right now. in a platonic way
if only i could text you this smell
and then you made a playlist that was just "party in the usa" on repeat...
Just got to costco. Where are you?
Liquor aisle, bring another cart.
Wasn't a date. In exchange for artichoke dip I received a bj. And sex. It was a transaction.
Pot head idea of the day: make a maraca out of weed seeds. Or a rain stick? Definitely rain stick.
Just got a blowie during the Avengers. It's weird knowing that the high point of your life just happened.
You're invited to our X-games themed party. We have an ice luge and every time someone eats shit we drink. It's gonna be great.
We were licking ciroc off the poker table
This girl braided my pubes while i was asleep. Now i cant get them undone.
I need to stop waking up with no pants on.
what happened this time
I dont know everyone was gone and there was a bird in the room
Good morning! Spongebob is on channel 257 when you wake up. Help yourself to breakfast. You were great last night. See you when I get back.
I’ve seen not one, but three Facebook articles on my feed today about “how to eat ass”. Idk what the universe is trying to tell me but it’s needs to chill
am i the only one who finds it a little awkward seeing as we all made out last night?
You can't say that. Only if you have peed on the side of the highway in daylight while signing Christmas songs can you say that.
Randomize
