But i just feel like he will pull it out and ill panic. I mean its fairly basic. Up and down. But i feel like ill just freak out.
I need to buy a mesh tank top to fit in in Florida. Where do they even sell that shit?
I'm pretty sure she sent a group text out saying that I was the one to get with her last night and sorry to everyone who didnt make it.
Honestly it was an honor just to be nominated.
You brought back some girl with you at 3am and introduced her to everyone as "hot pocket"
you're the best thing to happen to me. closely followed by learning to ejaculate, and drugs.
Apparently having him hold an open book in front of me while i'm blowing him doesn't count as studying...
well we could tame deer to let us ride on them. does that work?
my six pack is really starting to show since I started fucking everything that moves
I puked in the urinal of a bar tonight. Not embarrassed cause I got away with it, legitimately upset you weren't there to make fun of me.
Why the fuck did I wake up in a chair with mouth clamps?!
It sounds like I am drunk, but I am not. I just have a concussion.
You were naked with a chalice of Skittles vodka, singing along to Les Miserables.
I told the American that we should start banging in Canada incase I get hurt and have to go to the hospital.. is that rude to say?
Gatorade without vodka just doesn't taste the same
I should have known it wouldn’t work. Someone saved in her phone as “Subway Sex” called the week before the wedding
Randomize
