Pretty sure I left lotion and my bra in your car. I've secured your fathers belief that your straight. You can thank me later
yeah, and when i walked in on them fucking he said "go away, i'm making sons."
I'm hard boiling eggs, drinking rum, and talking to my 8 year old brother about the 10's times tables. This is what thursday is all about.
She kept looking at me and saying "you are the scary high".
Im still alive. Just can't talk. Or move. No need to worry
Driving by his house every hour is not stalking, it's a reconnaissance mission... How else can I confront him
She's planning a December wedding, I'm planning on a June breakup.
Why is hotel staff askin about the blood in our room
I am very happy to share that the hospital says the testicle pain is normal and that they are going to take care of it.
He goes to Columbia so regardless of how he looks I should fuck him right?
is it wrong to hook up with someone at a memorial drum circle
Preface: Im drunk. But i think id make a good assasin. That is all.
But I put cranberries and apples in my wine so it's festive drinking not suicidal drinking
Love it. I wish you see me right now. I'm counting cash on my bed with no shirt on, beauty and the beast sound track on blast. Fucking creepin it up.
Remember the Giant sandworm from the movie Dune? Well that's about how big his dick is. No bulshit.
Randomize