You think ghandi was good in the sack? cuz i sure do.
I'm not gay.
Soooo you want ghandi? is that what your telling me?
If ghandi gives good head...I'm in
Its fine.
I don't want to talk about it but I will say, that was the best two headed $68 blowjob. Ever.
I apologize in advance for attempting to drunkenly hookup with your sister
You fuck like a mechanic. That is the universe telling you that is your true calling. Take this as a sign.
My penis has a 100% approval rating. He has never received a formal complaint. If you'd like to file one, you can go fuck yourself.
Just made nicotine water. Ithink i'm having a heart attack.
You know how the doctor said I need to stop being vegan unless I find a way to get more protein? There's protein in beer. The doctor wants me to drink more beer.
I feel like your dick pick is everywhere. Never have I needed to be so careful when posting pictures.
Oh, and one of the worst parts... his name was Mario. I fucked a Nintendo character.
these people use weed stems as birthday cake candles. I'm never coming home
Totally just made a post sex emergency cupcake run. My life is awesome.
Just witnessed some guy throw his fake eye at his dad's face. Actually, he whipped it at him.
You were giving me all the reasons why being the big spoon is such a responsibility, and how you wish you were a girl cause the little spoon does nothing
Interesting fact: if you wanted to rename a guy Jeff, just tell him you only fuck Jeffs. Magically whatever name he was using is actually his middle name cause he doesn't like going by Jeff.
I just Spray tanned myself while high as fuck its either going to look like a work of art or terrible graffiti
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