THE PICTURE OF PEPPERMINT MOCHA MADE ME WANT TO TOUCH MYSELF
you know what sucks? talking to chicks you dont want to have sex with
Strippers tramp stamp says "mom"
He IMed me 5 times, before my homepage even loaded. This is not gonna work out for me
So you walked 4 miles to get home but stopped by the store first to get a vegetable tray? How drunk were you?
he stopped making out with me and said "can I make you grilled cheese? I feel like I owe YOU something"
I made the bartender pinky promise me there was still vodka in my drinks.
Tonight just feels like one of those I'm going to lose a shoe nights.
Sorry for locking you out after accusing you of eating my Skittles... I realized I was mistaken after just throwing up the rainbow.
Your panties and toothbrush are in your mailbox. just not ready to be with anyone serious. take care.
They're doing shots to celebrate every 15 minutes passing. You can come get them.
I got carried out by security last night. AND the taxi had to drive up onto the sidewalk to get me i was that drunk.
Also, yes, I look pretty rough. But my ovaries fought back this morning so getting dressed decently was not a priority.
I feel like my toilet water looks different when outsiders use my bathroom...
Are you high right now?
HOW DID YOU KNOW!
I got a 93 percent on my last mid term and I was drunk. Think of the possibilities if i were sober for the one thats tommorrow.
Randomize
