Of course we end up in a gay bar... And I have to tell you there are some hot dudes here, should I pass around your Facebook?
How's tricks little girl?
Trix are for kids, old man.
You must have had one hell of a time explaining to that girl why aladin soundtrack was playing on repeat in your room when you got back
Well i just learned hong kong is a country...thank you olympics
She gave me a handjob while eating a mcdouble with mayo on the way home from the bars at 2 in the morning. Car was full of people. This could be forever
I fell asleep to the sounds of them banging in the next room. It was oddly soothing...
He blew a load on his roommates pillow just to piss him off. Why did you introduce me to these people?
Best dream ever last night. You moved here. Your Spanish name meant highway. Your favorite food was styrofoam.
I think you'll appreciae more than anyone that I'm renting my parking spot out for a half gallon of vodka a month.
I'd like to introduce you to my friend, Moderation. Enjoy each other's company this weekend.
Your friend and I already don't get along
I know it must have been a hard break up. Are you okay?
Oh yeah, I'm fine dude. My vaginas heart is broken though. I feel bad for her, you should give her a call sometime.
I just KNEW this was gonna happen. NEVER say "all the free Jameson you can drink" around Tina.
Dad is celebrating turning 45 by being drunk in a department store before two o'clock.
like I'd leave you in a situation like that..pfft. what kinda friend do you think I am?
...a stoned one.
I'm dancing with a sandwich I just made cause I'm so happy how delicious it tastes, that high haha
Randomize
