Why do my orgasm prompt her to begin using babytalk EVERYTIME?!
Don't get me started, it sucks when the one thing you have in common with a girl is not wanting penis inside you.
She has an album entitled "my photography", which consists of about 80 different pictures of a tractor that she took on her cell phone. I'm all for freedom of expression, but come on.
Listen, this was just a tiny lapse of judgement.
I'm pretty sure that's not a synonym for pregnancy.
My life is a requiem composed in the key of fuck.
She rolled over this morning and asked "did you refer to my vagina as splash mountain last night? "
He came in both my eyes, then refused to give me a towel unless I found him by playing Marco Polo
The important thing is not that we avoid making mistakes, but that we avoid learning from them.
It's no longer hooking up, we have definitely graduated to Sport Fucking....
That hot shower felt like it washed away all of my problems... Except being pregnant... Ps just found out I'm pregnant. Fuck.
I just want to return to LA when the weed and dick is plentiful.
I'm serious. I have boob tassles if this is an exchange thing.
Only real friends lend their restraints to engagedfriends to fool around with married strangers.
don't worry, i'm not mad. i'm just angry. and furious. and about to set your ass on fire.
i wasnt sure i had a crush on her until i woke up this morning and saw i had googled fifteen variations of "lesbian marriage in estonia". where the fuck is estonia
Randomize
