she looked like the bat from fern gully.
somehow you got everyone naked by playing strip rock paper scissors.
Walked into a liquor store bleeding. That kind of night.
you know its summer when you wake up on the toilet
I'm drunk in a field. the chupacobra is going to eat me. if I die serve vodka at my funeral.
There's something very strange about masturbating in a hotel room. I feel like I'm cheating on my room...
I kinda feel like I was hit by a Prius. Just glad it's not bus status.
YOU TRIED TO SWIM IN HER FISHTANK. I don't think she's going to call you.
I wish you looked at me the way you looked at my brothers penis
also I saw his dick in the morning light and it was glorious. Like staring upon your birthday cake you ordered from heaven and going " can't wait to eat that later"
Never thought an ATM max withdrawal could be such a good thing...
You need to finger her with the Spock hand sign since she loves Star Trek.
Just masturbating and watching Sports Center...is this what it's like to be a guy?!
I passed out with the lights and tv on woke up at 4am SO confused and covered in goldfish so I ate them and went back to bed.. fuck xanax
I fuckin love you!
I would reciprocate the feeling if i knew who this was.
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