what do kids with lesbian moms do for father's day? like do you talk about it? is it awkward? do you get the butchy mom a card?
there are so many fish in the see you have left to fuck
What is a reasonable amount of condoms to keep in my condom wallet without it being creepy that I have too many?
The world is my kaleidiscope. I see whatever the alcohol wants me to.
You do resemble something that has been used as a chew toy.
You stuck a chicken finger in that stripper's clevage and said "Keep this warm for me.
True enough. Do you ever think that these girls grandparents ghosts are watching you masterbate to their granddaughters and look at you in Shame?
That money I left you should go to the stripper that fell asleep in your bed. Sorry
In sex ed. they really need to include a lesson on saying tampon in foreign languages, just in case.... Trying to ask the woman at the reception desk, who barely speaks English, for one just turned into an awkward game of charades.
I threw up in a Buffalo Wild Wings and then got a high-five. I really don't understand America
Yo, I totally had forgotten you were CA. Thank you for making my life easier with modern medicine.
I just bought a bottle of lube for my car.
He took a picture of me to show his boss why he was late...Is that a compliment or not?
Sorry I pissed in your closet and lied to your parents that it was probably a flood. He got up to go to the bathroom, expecting sex when he got back, I panicked
the sex was good. her showing me pictures of her 4 year old daughter afterwards was not.
Randomize
