I'm so horny!
I'm so hungry
WHAT A TERRIBLE REPLY!
For your pussy...
i wish that high-me and normal-me were two different ppl so that high-me could thank normal-me for setting out a feast before smoking
I wish that high-you wouldn't text me stupid shit at 3:30 in the morning
fuck that im pissed. when I come back im ripping forskin off.
I'm going as either a recovering alcoholic, or as a guy who came to the party straight from work. Too literal?
The last thing I remember was wearing a sombrero and trying to do cartwheels in the club
You did one successfully. Then smashed into the wall
This girl is wasted dancing to The Final Countdown. She's grinding on a guy who came to the bar in a track jacket and a wife beater
It's just great that Easter is on 4/20 this year. Now everyone can enjoy the Easter egg hunts. And being around my whole family.
Well, you were never considered a shining example of sobriety anyway
No,she came up with a new game: "Where is the most interesting place I can show Drew my asshole?"
Is there anything more American than getting day drunk and watching Hulk Hogan promos?
I'm just waking up. I awoke in a towel (I must have showered at some point),i also found a half eaten McChicken in my bed and vomit in the toilet. Seems like I'm winning at life
Walking into her house she felt something in her bra.... It was a used condom. Sadly enough this is not the first or last time it will happen. It's time for an intervention.
Oh god I just had an orgasim riding my bike. I need to get laid pronto.
So how often do you needs to see my tits today then?
The only thing good about being back at work is the lunch time hand jobs from the MILF
Randomize