Kanye's agent is the only person whose job sucks worse than mine.
what is college for if not random hookup sex?
learning.
i would literally fuck learning if i could.
i'm starting to get really nervous about the relationship i have with my cat
It honestly took me longer to beat Ninja Turtles: Turtles in Time, than it did to have sex with her the first time we met.
dude, I'm listening to "I believe I can fly", i'm high, and driving. this is so amazing.
Just used a champagne bottle to outline a trigonometric circle for math 104.. should i give up on life now or later?
No I can't cure herpes. I'm an EMT, not Jesus.
He looks like he'd be great Lego character.
i was debating whether to load antoher bowl when i realized i was holding a sandwich in one hand and a cookie in the other. and laughing.
I believe you called it tequila and nipples. The proceeded to strike a pose.
You had a hot dog outside the bar then made me stop at McDonald's for a double quarter pounder. I'd say you've more than filled your drunken meat quota.
That's awesome and prob the first time you had an idea of what to do. I'm super proud of you Chelz
Its cos im stoned ! My high self is maturing
My dad just bought me a 40. I consider this our peace treaty.
On a scale of 1-10, how inappropriate is it to sneak into someone's box of sex toys and put googly eyes on their vibrator?
he'll eat me out, but god forbid we double dip when sharing salsa
Randomize
