they're making a venn diagram comparing gummi bears against gummi worms...is this what i have to sit thru to get free weed????
Go for the frenulum. Its like eating a popsicle. They go nuts with that shit.
tolerance is too high. going on a liquor strike. ghandi style.
I can't wait until next week, when I find out what drunk me added to the Netflix queue.
it's like doing a sit-up... but, you're inside someone
I walked into the garage and you were telling the bikes that you were not that drunk.
I need moral support for this bender
How's your threesome situation going?
Optimistic
I told him he wasn't aloud to one word text me. Unless that one word was threesome
Well we're either getting a bunny or I'm getting you pregnant in about 12 days.
I don't want to jinx anything but I may have found the one.
Cat or human?
Human
250 people in this lecture & my prof asks who already drank green beer this morning& is drunk right now. I WAS THE ONLY ONE TO RAISE MY HAND
I apparently asked the bartender for a plastic bag and told her I was gunna puke then grabbed two handles from the bar then put the handles in the plastic bag and left.....
The girl in the hotel room next to us walked out at the same time as me this morning. She just shook her head, looked at me and said, "faker." Is it that easy to tell?!??
Now that I'm sober I feel the need to tell you that I'm not really a fish whisperer....
Randomize
