Oh and ps....i was sleeping soundly until i woke up by the sound of amy on the phone with her mom sobbing hysterically because she can't stop having the shits.
girl in front of me in lecture is looking up on ask.com about chlamydia.
I just remember telling jokes while vomitting
I walked in on you rubbing your nose all over his face while straddling him and yelling "I'M SO SORRY!" repeatedly. I'd say you were in pretty good shape at that point in the night.
I made mike pull over so I could lay in the grass. He made me get up cuz I looked dead and people were passing. It was like 6:30am.
You had salsa out and brought a banana on a plate to bed
I vaguely remember stopping for a bag of bugles and some lube and then I woke up this morning with melted chocolate on my hands. I think I love him
I'm just gonna pretend you didn't ask me that. I'll sweep that shattered moment of our friendship under the shame rug.
But if you were going to pour a liquid on your naked body in fall its definitely pumpkin inspired something.
It makes me really sad that some people start their saturdays running or biking instead of with 3 shots of tequila, a sausage biscuit, freaks & geeks and 2 orgasms.
I have a high opinion of you, you smash bitches. Respect.
Come on, will you just fuck him so we can watch Star Wars.
How good was the sex? She sent me a fruit basket the next day.
He just said "I can't wait to penetrate you tomorrow" I sat in silence for a second...he attempted to save it by saying "I can't wait to enter you".
also, I think I lit my hair on fire when I got home..
Randomize