Update: Discussing lingerie with my father. He likes sheer black things. Not into the colorful stuff I wear.
She ordered a salad and a budweiser. I love her.
You kept tellin the cashier that this order was "To Go" over and over...even tho we were in the drive-thru
He had a beer bottle in each of his back pockets and was on rollerblades. All I remember is following him for about 10 minutes
$5 long island pitchers = roommate pissing on his laptop at 3am.
For when you/if you wake up tomorrow.. You broke 4 of the bar's glasses tonight and I am currently watching you as you ride the broom around the bar instead of cleaning up your mess. I am no longer able to come up with excuses for you.
He tried to use a signal flare to light the bong
And?
He melted the stem
Driving a mountain pass in the middle of a blizzard with the worst vodka gummybear hangover ever is gods way of telling me to keep the black-outing within a 15 mile radius to my house.
well you don't shave your pubes into a handlebar mustache and keep the party to yourself
I've literally exhausted all the videos on pornhub. It took like 4 years, but I've done it. I did that quicker than I finished college
Can you repeat that, but with context?
I would also like you to tell your human bio class that I successfully smoked out the flu. 103 degree when I woke up yesterday. 100degree after one bowl. 4 more bowls and 16 hours later all that's left is a cough
I just told my bowl "sorry" for putting it down, because I thought I hurt its feelings. omg. I'm high.
That's good to know, because I will be doing terrible things to you. Terrible things, John, wicked, evil, maniacal things shall happen to you and I will have the audacity to call it sex
STILL COMPLETELY OKAY WITH THIS
I want you to defile me in my childhood bed.
Randomize
