dude just tell them you don't wear clothes. they'll understand
Apparently when you order 'bottomless fries' at red robin that doesnt mean you can go around to every table and eat all the fries you want off other peoples plates.
Sorry I couldn't get my dick out
on of the only things i remember was the security guard told me i was too drunk for laser tag.
Do you have any idea how hard it is to cum to Chingy?!
He tried to make eye contact, he should know by now that freaks me out
That doesn't help it make any more sense. Because now you've brought pinata condoms into this.
I think I saw maybe 3 ugly girls the entire time we were there
Yea its like that frat house was built to keep fat chicks out of parties
My parents are takin me for chinese food for my 4/20 present.
I fucking hate you.
i woke up to you and that girl going out onto the balcony naked
oh sorry man.. we went outside because we DIDN'T want to wake you
Somehow I got food poisoning AND alcohol poisoning in the same night. Its like everything I love is trying to kill me. I'm waiting for my tv to make its move.
Well after we were arrested you just kept chanting "Like a good neighbor state farm is there"
I have a terrible feeling that I made out with a fraternity last night
She text me that night and asked how the dick was and I quote my drunk self "average at best"
ive started thanking my toys after masturbating. might be time to get some fuck boys
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