it's like there's an entire ecosystem in your vagina.
He has that cheese in a can and he's eating it. I have never seen that outside a goofy movie.
Sometimes I wonder why.. Then I realize I can't fool myself with that question bc we all know it's bc of his enormous dick
He upper decked the toilet, got himself lit on fire 6 times and lit 4 other people on fire in the course of 3 days.
She just referred to her vagina as "this bitch".
you can think of my virginity as your little souveneir from our relationship.
admittedly, it's a little weird getting relationship advice from the mother of a former one night stand. but she's a wise lady and she buys me drinks, so i'm ok with it.
Speaking of fellatio on fictional characters, the Stay Puft Marshmallow Man would be a delicious blowjob.
I'm using my breathalyzer result sheet as a coaster for my 40.
I was woken up in my old house by the new residents ... I don't even have a Key anymore
I'd rather be sodomized with a fullly decorated Christmas tree.
Wearing the same clothes for three days in a row and eating an entire two pound bag of jelly beans really has a way of making a person rethink their life...
You were just so carefree! People were like, "there's broken glass everywhere" and you were just like, IDGAFFFFFFF
Ever wonder what all the drugs you've ever done would look like put together?
Heaven. . It would look like heaven
When he busted out the ketchup I got the hell out of there. It got really creepy really fast.
Randomize
