We were in the backseat and he was giggling uncontrolably. It felt like I was giving head to a 10 year old girl.
Sarah Palin is going to have a show on the discovery channel...Can I get a moment of silence for knowledge?
Never again will we have slut saturday. Never.
Well after last night it's official...I cannot die...it time to use this power for good instead of handle contests
Drunk on Tuesday. Double fisting. Mmmbop is playing. Only girl in the group. Life is complete.
He's just a really nice guy who stuck his tongue in the wrong place.
I just heard my parents fuck. What. The. Fuck. My rooms right under theirs.. My dad barely even lasted a minute. Im almost ashamed..
I basically have sex lined up for me in three different countries. If that's not a feat I don't know what is
It turns out my English teacher used to pose for Playboy. She's an inspiration.
He wins the giant teddy bear for getting the neuva ring on the dick
Should I have spent my entire pay check on Crown Royal and LSD? No. Do I regret it? Also, no.
I make him buy me all the extremely expensive high end Mac cosmetics I desire. Wear it then let him cum on my face. I am fucking glamorous.
I have a tattoo that says Yolo. You should not have been asking my advice in the first place
I described my life as a 7 layer cake of death
that moment you remember partying with someone several years ago.. and don't remember if you slept with them or not.
Randomize
