Why does it always sting when I'm breaking the seal taking a piss?
b/c u have herpes
No i said "always", not "since 2003" Asshole.
and my herpes radar will keep us safe
Since when is my name a synonym for head?
Just bonged a beer from a vuvuzela...this place is only doing good for me
she named each of the players on the last ten madden covers in order and then shotgunned 2 beers...if she doesnt have a penis im in love
we were sitting in the bathtub when she came in with her grandpas cane adn beat us until lindsay passed out
You know the party was great when the birthday girl gets arrested
Heaven was on the 3rd floor and Hell was on the first. When the cop walked up he was confused as to who the noise complaint was for and wrote both apartments a noise violation.
We are smoking a hash blunt ... Bring your emergency inhaler
I just pulled the nickels from earlier out of my bra in class. The guy next to me is either terrified or intrigued.
Look on the bright side, one day you will get to tell your grandkids how grandpappy got roofied on his 21st and woke up in a for sale house missing his shoes
do you ever feel so high you're swimming backstroke and then you realize you're still laying in bed on tumblr
Every time we have sex, I feel his dick ramming my soul into submission. Problem is..... I LIKE THAT SHIT!
I can't. I'm going camping this weekend. I do have a life outside of your dick.
I discovered moonshine and fell in love.
Randomize
