talk about how much treatments for your hpv hurts
Literal conversation "you are ________ ____. you facebook friended me"
Blowing lines off from the book where the wild things are... bad babysitter?
why is pumping your own stomach in your searches on youtube?
It's 10am. I'm hungover wearing a flyers jersey and a phillies hat and eating a cheesesteak. I'm not the only one. Best city ever.
You have permanently scared my back with your nails. I would like to congratulate you on a job well done.
I refuse to have sex with you and your eBay condoms.
Wait, whatever happened to locking our vaginas in closets?
WHO JUST REMOVED THAT SAME BOARD IN TWO MINUTES FLAT WITH NO INJURIES, SHOES, SOCKS, OR BRA?! THIS BITCH. CRACKIN A BEER FOR DA SHOWA. BITCHES AIN'T SHIT MOTHAFUCKA
Just had an epiphany about how to drink more effectively in the shower. While walking across campus carrying a Franzia bag like Santa
We dug deep emotionally while eating cereal
No more weed for you
We were so sore from having sex that we decided to fix it with more sex. It's the hair of the dog for sex hangover.
Is it weird to befriend your older alcoholic landlords?
I want to conceive our bastard child on an athletic field. Why can't we make this happen?
She yelled “outlaw country” right before we heard the police siren
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