I chugged a bottle of robotussein and i ducking saw a blind lady on a purch sewing a shirt! And a tree portal
She asked the class if starwars was based on a true story...
i found the one person in the world who takes longer to cum than i do... mutual dissatisfaction is probably not the best foundation for a relationship.
Do you think it'd be inappropriate to have an I'm Not Keeping My Baby Party the day after her baby shower?
I swear she's a drunk klepto...by the end of the night she had stolen 3 bowling balls. HOW DO YOU STEAL 3 BOWLING BALLS?
Would it be out of line to take a picture of all the earrings, rings, hairclips, and other miscellaneous girl items that I found under my bed and post it on facebook and tag all the girls that I slept with this year so they can claim their shit and get it out of my house?
Woke up in a pile of people on the floor. His dad was already up and ask me to help him cook bacon because "7 lbs can be a mother fucker"
I either need to get adopted or have someone's baby, but I'm joining that family
Woke up in time for my 8:15
Good for you I'm impressed
I realized 10 minutes in it was a class from last semester
She's opening her family birthday cards at the bar. So we can pay our tab. Bitches wrote checks :(
He's sending me pics of Yellowstone scenery...the only thing I can think is "I would have sex next to that waterfall"
The inflatable penis from those pics was mine... We broke him that night
I appreciate that you take the time to fix your typos even while masturbating
We set around a table in a hotel room and he spoon fed Molly to everyone there... I felt sketch for sec but then... Oh well.
Honestly no idea how dad figured out i did all that gay porn unless he was looking at gay porn.
God, I missed his penis.
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