you kept trying to convince me i had aids because my head hurt
And there I was, sitting Indian style on the kitchen floor, my fingers covered in peanut butter.
dude they had a "sorry for partying" wall in their house which consisted if all the hospital bills, tickets, detox receipts and court orders they've gotten. The ENTIRE wall was covered.
Yea, remember to blow out the fire from flaming shots. Unless you want burnt lips. Just saying, I'm an example of ignorance and intoxication.
You know you stopped at a liquor store to prepare for a 12-year-old's birthday party, right?
When are you not under some influence?
Since last Tuesday...yesterday.
Im wearing all my glow sticks to bed so i know where my arms are at all times.
Shoot me. I need tickles, a drink, sushi and a handy
Order is debatable
I got 87 likes on my changed relationship status. It's official. I'm way more fucking awesome single.
They're mostly guys
Early bird gets the worm.
I dont know but I had two different hospital bands and half a pie when i woke up.
I mean, two foreign guys have drunkenly confessed their love for her, so she's clearly doing something right.
I just did the walk of shame..with a blanket and a cup that says i will out drink all you bitches. This was not how i pictured 25.
When Pony by ginuwine plays I pretty much just grind on the nearest penis.
Drive by water balloon fight on $500,000 boats ended when someone threw a dildo
Oh no. Did we do a blood oath again?!
Randomize
