at a bar with my ex girlfriend.. both men AND WOMEN are hitting on her.. and not one has even looked at me
I sometimes forget that turkeys are alive even when its not Thanksgiving.
normally i'm against accepting campers on facebook but this one saw me giving head to another counselor and didn't say shit about it to my boss so i feel like shes earned the right to look at my sloppy drunk pictures
I have a critically important question to ask.
Why does watermelon-flavoured candy exist?
We're going to play a drinking game. It's called "Senior Year of College."
No, I got those cupcakes fair and square. That homeless man should have known not to underestimate the determination of a stoned chem student.
We found her on a strangers doorstep chanting "I know someone will let me in" it took 2 of us to drag her to the car.
He left npr on the whole time when we were doing it. ironic that i lost it on the 100th anniversary of the titanic. thanks michelle norris.
Ok now a guy in a winnie the pooh costume is grinding on some chick to the song shots
Drunk. But sober enough to know I hate gymnastics.
He drunkenly stumbled over to me and told me my "crotch looks spectacular tonight"..... i think this could work
I just threw up 34 cents. What in god's name did we do last night?
To the point, I hope I remember where to put my dick when I finally get laid again
You have a 50 50 chance
Me and Jason had to grab your legs and arms and drag you in the house. You kept screaming "leave me for dead"
Wow. The LSU Tennessee game is on here and the LSU cheerleaders are stupid hot. Its weird having a hard on. At a bar. On a Wednesday. By yourself.
Randomize